My biggest nightmare was my great grandmother. Not that she represented some kind of threat to me – God no! Rather she could be a great example of the hardworking person of the post war generation, she lived in a small house, and was paralyzed for more than 14 years. She lied in the bed all day long and it was her children’s responsibility to be taken care of.
But since I was a great grand daughter I stayed sometimes there and slept in next room, well, not room but passage between rooms where two small bed stood. I never slept good there, I heard her moaning and awkward movement in her bed. But I always thought about her own ways of approaching Me.
The most frightening one, of course: like crawling on her hands with her legs dragging behind her, or could she possibly had crutches to attend to…
Then other nights I would imagined her long hands with sharp fingernails scratching the wall in order to shorten the distance between us.
I’d say it was my sick mind and not so smart brain back then to think about my relative in that manner, but in winter for the first time I got my chance to sleep well, it was finally a long lasting relief and disbelief for the matter.
But right in the middle of the so-called-nirvana-state I felt someone’s breath upon my neck and I opened my eyes abruptly wide with fear.
I saw her there, sitting on the next bed, her face was peaceful and alleviated. She smiled with a wisdom kind of look.
The hair on my back felt their own existence and roused above the surface.
– Do you really want it? – she asked.
– What? – my broken voice echoed.
– The thing you are constantly thinking about for the past year?
-ahuh, – I stuttered.
She took out her white bony skinny hand and shook mine.
I woke up in the morning wet with the idea of possible encounter, yet I knew that a woman who almost reached a 100 years of age – died, my relative, my great grandmother.
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